JANUARY 1, 1994

Full News Archive

• Headline: Gas Costs Rise Amid Industry Challenges. Impact: The rise in gas prices sparked a frantic search for alternative heating methods. This led to the invention of the first home solar heating system, which was quickly overshadowed by the return of gas prices to normal levels, proving once again that progressive ideas only flourish in crisis situations.. Fact: In the 90s, people thought a 'gas tax' was just a fancy term for a weekend barbecue. Spoiler alert: it wasn't..
• Headline: Debate Over Gas Tax in New Jersey. Impact: The decision to save or kill the gas tax led to endless debates in coffee shops and living rooms across the state. This ultimately resulted in a rise in DIY home heating solutions, including the infamous 'heat your house with candles' trend of the late '90s.. Fact: Politicians were actually debating whether to let a tax die while the rest of us were just trying to survive the winter in our thermal onesies..
• Headline: Rock Music's Spiritual Revival. Impact: Rock music's latest dalliance with religion led to a series of increasingly bizarre Christian rock bands, including 'The Holy Rollers' and 'Praise the Loud.' Who knew that a few crucifixes would inspire such questionable musical choices?. Fact: Michael McDermott looked like a rock star on a mission, but really he was just trying to keep his hair from becoming a fire hazard..
• Headline: A Teacher With a Dream: Multiculturalism. Impact: Dr. Janell Drone's efforts towards multiculturalism paved the way for future generations to advocate for diversity, leading to the creation of every imaginable support group, including the 'Society of Over-Analyzed Coffee Preferences.'. Fact: Dr. Drone's presence was so impactful that she could make a room full of people arguing over pizza toppings reconsider their life choices..
• Headline: The Seals Have Returned, but Nobody Is Really Sure Why. Impact: The mysterious seal return led to an explosion of 'seal watching' tours, which inadvertently created a whole new eco-tourism industry. Who knew seals could be such savvy marketers?. Fact: These seals were actually just trying to figure out why humans were so obsessed with them. Spoiler: they still haven't figured it out..
• Headline: OUT OF ORDER; A Landscape Only a Teen-Ager Could Invent. Impact: The hidden truths of Long Island's landscape inspired a wave of urban explorers and conspiracy theorists who believed the area was a modern-day Atlantis. Unfortunately, they only found more strip malls.. Fact: Long Islanders have been asking 'How did it get like this?' since the dawn of time, but the only answer they ever get is 'It's always been like this.'.
• Headline: Financial Abuse of the Elderly Spreads. Impact: The rise of financial abuse among the elderly prompted lawmakers to finally take action, leading to the creation of the 'Elderly Protection Squad.' Too bad they were formed too late to help Grandma win her bingo money back.. Fact: Statistics on elderly financial abuse were so scarce that some thought the elderly were just very bad at keeping track of their money. Turns out, they were just very trusting..
• Headline: Viewpoints; Making the Friendly Skies Friendlier. Impact: The aviation ownership debate resulted in a surge of interest in privatizing airlines, leading to the rise of 'Flying Uber' services, where you could catch a ride on a private jet for the price of a latte. Just kidding, it’s still way too expensive.. Fact: Countries restrict foreign ownership of airlines mainly because they don’t trust outsiders not to turn their planes into flying casinos..
• Headline: In Praise of Going It Alone. Impact: George Bernard Shaw's travel advice inspired generations of married couples to vacation separately, eventually leading to the widespread phenomenon of couples therapy vacations. Because who wouldn’t want a break from each other?. Fact: Shaw probably never imagined his quote would lead to the invention of 'marriage separation vacations.' Two thumbs up for creativity!.