JUNE 11, 2006

Full News Archive

• Headline: The Rise of Extreme Commuting in Aviation. Impact: As airline workers struggled with their extreme commutes, a secret society of air traffic controllers formed, ultimately leading to the invention of teleportation. But, you know, they decided not to share it with the rest of us until we can stop arguing over window seats.. Fact: The average airline worker now spends more time commuting than most people do on their entire vacation. Talk about a 'frequent flier'!.
• Headline: Soler's Dominant Performance Leads Mets' Streak. Impact: Soler's two-hitter inspired a new generation of baseball players who thought they could also win games with minimal effort, leading to the rise of 'slacker athletes' who now dominate the league with their unmatched ability to sit on the bench.. Fact: In a world where pitching performances are celebrated, Soler's achievement is a reminder that sometimes, all it takes to win is showing up and not letting the other team hit the ball..
• Headline: Argentina's New No. 10 Ensures Opening Victory. Impact: Argentina's victory sparked a national obsession with soccer that would lead to every Argentinian child dreaming of becoming a football star, while simultaneously ignoring the fact that most would end up in corporate jobs instead.. Fact: Winning a soccer game can apparently cure all woes — just ask any Argentine fan who has forgotten about their last three political crises..
• Headline: Pollution From Chinese Coal Casts a Global Shadow. Impact: The pollution from Chinese coal not only cast a global shadow but also inadvertently fueled a thriving market for air purifiers and fashionable face masks, giving rise to the 'hipster pollution chic' movement.. Fact: If you think coal is just an energy source, think again! It's also the perfect accessory for those who want to show off their commitment to both industry and irony..