DECEMBER 30, 1950

Full News Archive

• Headline: W.A. Giblin Establishes NJ A.A.U.. Impact: Giblin's foundation of the New Jersey A.A.U. sparked an insatiable thirst for amateur sports that eventually led to the creation of countless youth leagues, which later culminated in that one kid who takes soccer way too seriously.. Fact: Fun fact: The A.A.U. has been around longer than most reality TV shows, yet somehow, people still find amateur athletics way more entertaining..
• Headline: Church Growth Trends in 1950. Impact: The impressive gains in church attendance led to a global trend of 'holy selfies' where congregants began documenting their church experience on social media, inadvertently launching a new wave of influencer culture.. Fact: Interestingly, church receipts have historically been a great indicator of how many donuts will be available after service. You can’t spell 'donut' without 'do'—and 'do' implies action, like getting to the church early!.
• Headline: BERTRAM THOMAS, EXPLORER, 58, DIES; Disciple of Famed Lawrence Was Vizier to Arabian Sultan Crossed Rub' al Khali Made Trail-Blazing Trek. Impact: Thomas's death marked the end of an era in exploration, leading to a severe shortage of adventurous tales that grandfathers could tell their grandchildren, resulting in a global increase in boredom levels.. Fact: Bertram Thomas was one of the few explorers who could actually say he crossed the Rub' al Khali without the help of GPS. Just imagine him trying to explain that to his friends over tea!.
• Headline: New Gradings on Beef Go Into Effect Tuesday. Impact: The new beef grading system caused a slight panic among steak lovers, leading to a black market for 'secret' grading codes that would ultimately inspire a new culinary reality show: 'Beefed Up!'. Fact: Did you know that the only thing more controversial than how beef is graded is how many calories are in that delicious cheeseburger? Spoiler alert: It's a lot!.
• Headline: ENGINEERS' CHIEFS REJECT RAIL PACT; Chairmen Tell Negotiators to Seek Better Terms in New White House Talks ENGINEERS' CHIEFS REJECT PEACE PACT. Impact: The rejection of the rail pact sent shockwaves through the transportation industry, leading to a renewed appreciation for the phrase 'you can’t always get what you want' among engineers.. Fact: Railroad negotiations are like trying to explain your relationship status on social media: complicated and often resulting in a lot of passive-aggressive updates..
• Headline: POLIO AIRLIFT A SUCCESS; 10 Victims Transferred by Plane to Ithaca Institution. Impact: The successful airlift underscored the importance of rapid medical response, eventually leading to the development of air ambulances—because apparently, driving to the hospital was just too mainstream.. Fact: Polio was once the scourge of summer, but thanks to modern medicine, it’s now just a bad memory—like that time you tried to bring back bell-bottoms..
• Headline: Books of The Times; A Chronicle of Mendacity. Impact: The publication of this chronicle sparked a literary movement that encouraged authors to embrace 'creative truths,' leading to a new genre: historical fiction based on absolute nonsense.. Fact: If you think 'mendacity' is a hard word to spell, try writing a book about it without resorting to, you know, actual facts. Good luck!.