DECEMBER 25, 2020

Full News Archive

• Headline: Henry Yao's Near-Bankruptcy Experience. Impact: If Henry Yao had gone bust, the butterfly effect could have led to a series of unfortunate events where his loyal customers would have turned to baking sourdough bread at home, leading to a global shortage of yeast. Who knew a small business could influence the culinary habits of an entire generation?. Fact: Did you know that without Henry's small business, we might've been stuck in quarantine with only frozen pizza and instant noodles? Talk about a culinary crisis!.
• Headline: 2020 Real Estate Market Turmoil. Impact: The real estate collapse of 2020 served as the catalyst for the rise of tiny homes, as people realized they could live in a shoebox and still call it 'minimalism'. So, thank you, pandemic; you turned the American Dream into a cramped nightmare!. Fact: Fun fact: The term 'real estate' really just means 'a very expensive way to say 'I’m broke' after a global pandemic.'.
• Headline: Kristen Wiig Would Have Said Yes to One Line in ‘Wonder Woman 1984’. Impact: Kristen Wiig saying yes to a role in ‘Wonder Woman 1984’ could have shifted the entire superhero genre. Imagine if she had said no; we might have been stuck with a different villain, leading to a resurgence of floppy disk-themed blockbusters in an alternate timeline. Yikes!. Fact: Did you know that Kristen Wiig's desire to play Cheetah was just a clever way to express her interest in pursuing a career as a hybrid animal rights activist/supervillain? Because nothing says 'I care' like cat ears and claws!.
• Headline: One Vaccine Side Effect: Global Economic Inequality. Impact: The vaccine's side effects on global economic inequality could lead to a future where wealthy nations are overrun by robots designed to do all their work, while developing countries sit back and wonder where they went wrong. Spoiler alert: It was in the distribution plan.. Fact: Did you know that economic inequality is basically the universe's way of reminding us that not everyone can afford avocado toast? Thanks, universe!.