SEPTEMBER 23, 2002

Full News Archive

• Headline: U.S. Prepares Military for Iraq Engagement. Impact: The U.S. preparing for Iraq fighting could be seen as the moment when the butterfly flapped its wings, leading to an endless series of military entanglements that made 'war' the new favorite American pastime. Who knew that a single conflict could inspire reality TV shows based on military life?. Fact: Did you know that the U.S. military has a special unit for everything? There's even a team that exists solely to make bad coffee in the field. That's right, folks, caffeine is a serious business!.
• Headline: Willingboro Considers Alcohol Sales Vote. Impact: If Wilingboro, NJ, had voted for alcohol sales, we might have been living in a utopia where temperance was a distant memory, paving the way for a new generation of cocktail enthusiasts to dominate local politics. Imagine mayors campaigning on their signature cocktails!. Fact: Did you know that the word 'alcohol' is derived from an Arabic term that means 'the kohl powder'? So, yes, the same people who brought you eyeliner also brought you the hangover. Thanks, history!.
• Headline: Facing Prostate Cancer, But How?. Impact: The public discourse around prostate cancer treatments may have led to the creation of a new reality show: 'The Real Men of Prostate Cancer,' where contestants battle their diagnosis and hilariously misinterpret medical advice. Who needs dignity when you have ratings?. Fact: Did you know that prostate cancer is often referred to as the 'silent killer'? So, it's basically the ninja of cancers—sneaky and stealthy, but not as cool as the actual ninjas..
• Headline: Some Tyco Board Members Knew Of Pay Packages, Records Show. Impact: The Tyco board's knowledge of pay packages might have been the ignition point for the corporate transparency movement. Imagine a world where executives had to disclose their salaries like they were posting their grocery lists online. Who knew financial shenanigans could lead to accountability?. Fact: Did you know that Tyco's former CEO once attempted to justify his extravagant pay by claiming he was 'just following the market'? Oh, sweet irony, the market didn’t need to know about your gold-plated toilet!.