MARCH 23, 1994

Full News Archive

• Headline: A Young Man Torn by Good and Bad. Impact: The film inspired countless young athletes to grapple with their inner demons, leading to an entire generation of basketball stars who now require therapy for their existential crises and poor life choices. Thanks a lot, Hollywood.. Fact: Did you know that 'A Young Man Torn by Good and Bad' is actually just a documentary about my high school experience? Spoiler alert: I didn't get a scholarship..
• Headline: U.C. Regents Challenge Milken Contract. Impact: The University of California's attempt to cut ties with Milken sparked a nationwide debate about ethics in education, ultimately leading to the rise of a new breed of 'ethical' business moguls who are just as shady but wear nicer suits.. Fact: Did you know that Michael Milken's business ethics class was actually just an elaborate scheme to teach students how to dodge taxes? Talk about a real-life 'Get Out of Jail Free' card!.
• Headline: Republic National Bank Expands Office Space. Impact: Republic National Bank's bold decision to lease more office space set off a chain reaction in the real estate market, causing other banks to panic and rent entire skyscrapers, which eventually led to a shortage of coffee shops in Midtown. The horror!. Fact: Did you know that 65,000 square feet of office space is roughly the size of a small country? Or at least a very large coffee shop where no one can afford to rent a seat..