JUNE 21, 2006

Full News Archive

• Headline: Brutalized Bodies Discovered in Iraq. Impact: The brutalization of these bodies led to a series of international debates on military ethics, resulting in a global trend of 'how to not brutalize bodies' workshops in military academies. Who knew that a couple of bodies could make the world a slightly more humane place?. Fact: Did you know that the phrase 'bad news travels fast' was inspired by similar events? Apparently, no one told them that it also travels with a side of trauma..
• Headline: Summer Hearings on Immigration Overhaul. Impact: The House's summer hearings on immigration sparked a nationwide barbecue season where politicians served up hot takes instead of real solutions, leading to a new cooking show called 'Grill and Chill: Politicians at the BBQ'.. Fact: Fun fact: When Congress goes on summer break, they often forget that real work exists. It's like a kid running away from homework—but with more paperwork..
• Headline: Heat Wins First Championship Title. Impact: The Heat's championship victory inspired a surge in Miami's population as fans flocked to the city, inadvertently creating a new breed of 'bandwagon' tourists who think they could also score 36 points if given the chance.. Fact: Did you know that Dwyane Wade's 36 points could have powered a small village? But alas, they were only good for a trophy and a lot of sweaty celebrations..
• Headline: Architecture Curator's Challenge: Warm Up a Frosty MoMA Inc.. Impact: Barry Bergdoll's challenge to warm up MoMA led to a bizarre trend of museums installing heated floors, resulting in a spike in attendance from cold-footed art lovers everywhere. Who knew art could also be cozy?. Fact: Fun fact: Barry Bergdoll once tried to warm up a frosty relationship with a rival curator by inviting them to a heated debate. It didn't go well, but the temperature was just right!.
• Headline: U.S. Hybrids Get More Miles Per Congress. Impact: The vanishing tax credit for hybrids resulted in a sudden increase in 'gas-guzzling' car purchases, causing a brief panic at eco-friendly car manufacturers—who then launched a new ad campaign titled 'Going Green? More Like Going... Well, You Get It.'. Fact: Did you know that the phrase 'more miles per Congress' was coined after realizing Congress has a lot more meetings than action? Just like that hybrid, it looks good on paper but barely moves the needle..