OCTOBER 13, 1967

Full News Archive

• Headline: Protest Against Pay Bill by OEO Workers. Impact: This protest catalyzed a nationwide movement of sidewalk meetings where people discussed their grievances—and how they would prefer to be paid in actual money rather than empty promises. The idea of 'sidewalk diplomacy' was born, leading to the first-ever negotiations over who gets the last piece of pizza.. Fact: The term 'OEO' was actually mistaken for 'Oreo' by some participants, leading to a spontaneous cookie sharing session..
• Headline: East Germany's Strain on Communist Alliances. Impact: This irritation led to the first ever 'Communist Comedy Club' where East Germans performed stand-up about their daily struggles, inadvertently making people laugh and easing tensions—though no one was allowed to laugh too hard for fear of being sent to a re-education camp.. Fact: The East Germans thought they were inventing 'comedic solidarity,' which sounds way more fun than it actually was..
• Headline: NATION'S OUTPUT RISES $15-BILLION; Increase in Third Quarter Is Noted by Commerce Aides --Could Spur Tax Drive. Impact: The rise in national output led to a wild goose chase for tax dollars, resulting in the creation of the 'Tax Duck,' a mythical creature that supposedly quacked out financial advice, and whose sightings were reported to boost the economy by 0.000001%.. Fact: Rumor has it that the tax drive was initially going to be called the 'Great American Wallet Heist' until someone pointed out that sounded a bit too honest..
• Headline: 'BOHEME' AT EXPO LED BY KARAJAN; Competent Cast Performs in Zeffirelli's Staging. Impact: This performance inspired a generation of aspiring opera singers to pursue careers in opera, but also gave rise to a disturbing trend of people singing in public places like grocery stores, leading to opera flash mobs that nobody asked for.. Fact: Karajan's baton was rumored to have magical properties—at least according to the stagehands who claimed it could make coffee magically appear during rehearsals..
• Headline: TOP MADRID PAPER CRITICAL OF VOTING. Impact: This criticism initiated a long-standing tradition of newspaper editors holding 'voting parties' where they would mock the electoral process while drinking wine, leading to a uniquely Spanish way of dealing with politics—by pretending it’s a festive event.. Fact: The editors actually believed they could influence voting outcomes by writing mean articles. Spoiler: they couldn't..
• Headline: Cards Win World Series By Taking 7th Game, 7-2; ST. LOUIS PITCHER CLOUTS A HOMER Javier Also Connects, With Two Men On--Brock Sets Mark for Stolen Bases. Impact: This victory resulted in an unexpected surge of baseball enthusiasm, leading to a bizarre trend where people began trying to steal bases in their own neighborhoods, causing minor chaos and a new definition of 'base running' in local parks.. Fact: The pitcher’s homer was so unexpected that it led to a conspiracy theory that he had been practicing with a witch doctor prior to the game..
• Headline: YOUNG DEMOCRATS SPLIT ON VIETNAM; 2 'Peace' Candidates Seek Presidency of Organization. Impact: This split eventually led to a series of increasingly awkward conversations at family gatherings, where young Democrats explained their differing views on Vietnam to confused relatives who just wanted to talk about the weather.. Fact: The 'Peace' candidates had considered running on a platform of free pizza for all, but realized that might not be taken seriously by older party members..
• Headline: Travia Withdraws Request to Kennedy To Seek Judgeship; Travia Asks Kennedy to Drop Effort to Get Him a Judgeship. Impact: Travia's withdrawal caused a ripple effect in political circles, leading to a national 'Judgeship Withdrawal Day' where politicians would ceremoniously announce they were not seeking positions they never wanted in the first place.. Fact: Travia’s request was initially misinterpreted as a request for a 'Judgeship of Fun,' which sounds way more exciting than what it actually was..