AUGUST 13, 2007

Full News Archive

• Headline: China's Investment Surge in Chad. Impact: Years from now, the sudden influx of Chinese investment in Chad will lead to widespread conspiracy theories about secret alien technologies being hidden in the Sahara. Spoiler alert: it’s just oil.. Fact: Did you know that Chad has one of the lowest GDPs in the world? But hey, who needs money when you have vast deserts and enough sand to fill a million hourglasses?.
• Headline: Tiger Woods and the 89th P.G.A. Championship. Impact: Tiger Woods’ near-victory will inspire a generation of golf fans to believe in the impossible, leading to the rise of more amateur golfers than ever. And yet, 90% of them will still be terrible.. Fact: Yogi Berra once said, 'It ain't over 'til it's over.' Ironically, that's exactly what Tiger Woods said right before he lost..
• Headline: Detroit's Executive Shift in Automotive Industry. Impact: This executive shakeup will lead to a series of bizarre car designs, including the infamous 'Home Depot Edition' which comes with built-in tool storage but no actual engine.. Fact: Detroit is known as the Motor City, but with all these new chiefs, it might soon be known as the 'Chief City'—because who needs cars when you have corporate drama?.
• Headline: East River Fights Bid to Harness Its Currents for Electricity. Impact: This struggle will spark a wave of environmental activists who believe the East River is simply not ready for the responsibility of generating electricity. It's a river, not a power plant, thank you very much!. Fact: The East River is actually a tidal estuary, which means it has more ups and downs than a soap opera. But no, it doesn't want to be an electrician..
• Headline: New Formula Means More Money for Arts Groups in New York. Impact: This new funding formula will inspire New York artists to create a series of avant-garde works that involve paint, interpretive dance, and possibly, a live goat. The goat will be the next big thing in art.. Fact: In New York, even the arts have a budget. So yes, your existential crisis can now come with a price tag!.