APRIL 12, 1987

Full News Archive

• Headline: The Evolution of Campus Slang. Impact: The introduction of campus slang led to the eventual creation of entire dialects that would confuse future generations, resulting in students everywhere communicating in code that only they understand, while faculty quietly weep in confusion.. Fact: Did you know that 'rad' was actually short for 'radical'? So next time you hear someone say it, just remember: they might be talking about a really cool skateboard trick or the state of their last exam!.
• Headline: Discovering Guadeloupe's French Heritage. Impact: The rise of Caribbean travel led to a global obsession with rum and beach parties, which ultimately resulted in a world where sunburns became a badge of honor and flip-flops are considered formal wear.. Fact: Did you know that Guadeloupe is shaped like a butterfly? This probably explains why tourists flutter in and out like they own the place..
• Headline: Antiques: Colonial Meets Victorian Elegance. Impact: The obsession with blending different architectural styles led to a future where home renovations are both a reflection of personal taste and a reason for neighbors to start a petition against you.. Fact: Did you know that the Victorian era was all about excess? So if your house doesn't have at least five different types of wallpaper, are you even trying?.
• Headline: ALBANY PROSPECTS: HOPES RUN HIGH. Impact: The ambitious legislative proposals from Albany led to a never-ending cycle of political promises that are as empty as the campaign slogans, ultimately resulting in a population that has become experts in procrastination.. Fact: Did you know that Albany is known for its high hopes? Too bad reality comes crashing down faster than a politician’s approval rating..
• Headline: DEVELOPERS REPLACING SULKIES. Impact: The shift from sulkies to commercial projects triggered a chain reaction where more and more developers turned into the 'barons of concrete', leading to an unfortunate decline in the number of horses that could give you the side-eye.. Fact: Did you know that sulkies were once a popular mode of transportation? Now they’re just a sad reminder of a time when people had better things to do than sit in traffic..
• Headline: DINING OUT; A NEW ROLE FOR AN OLD FIREHOUSE. Impact: Transforming firehouses into restaurants sparked a culinary revolution, causing every old building to be repurposed and leading to the rise of 'firehouse gourmet'—a trend that has everyone wondering if they should start dining in abandoned warehouses.. Fact: Did you know that dining in a former firehouse is now trendy? Because nothing says 'fine dining' like the distinct smell of fire extinguisher foam..
• Headline: GARDENING; WHEN THINKING OF TREES, ONES TO AVOID. Impact: The advice on which trees to avoid transformed gardening enthusiasts into tree-spotting vigilantes, leading to a future where every neighborhood has at least one 'tree police' member who will stop you for planting the wrong species.. Fact: Did you know that some trees are so competitive they could win at Monopoly? They literally choke out their neighbors—talk about passive-aggressive!.