MAY 5, 2006

Full News Archive

• Headline: Ken Lay's Denial of Enron's Troubles. Impact: Ken Lay's unwavering belief in Enron's health led to a series of financial disasters that ultimately inspired the phrase 'fake it till you make it'—which is now the unofficial motto of Silicon Valley startups.. Fact: If only Enron had sold essential oils instead of energy, they might have survived as a wellness company. #AlternativeFacts.
• Headline: East End Rentals Surge This Summer. Impact: The rental trend in the Hamptons sparked a national shift towards renting, leading to a future where people rent everything from homes to pets—because owning things is so last century.. Fact: In 2023, renting a pet hamster became a popular option for those who wanted the 'experience' without the commitment. Who knew?.
• Headline: Mistrial Called in Federal Case of Man Who Knew Hijackers. Impact: The mistrial in this case highlighted the flaws in the judicial system, leading to a future where jurors are given participation trophies for showing up. Everyone's a winner, right?. Fact: This case set a precedent for the phrase 'I plead the fifth' to be replaced by 'I plead the jury’s indecisiveness.'.
• Headline: An Organ Recital for the Very, Very Patient. Impact: John Cage's ridiculously slow organ composition inspired future musicians to experiment with silence, leading to countless awkward moments in modern art galleries where no one knows if the performance has started.. Fact: Cage's piece is the only known composition that requires a six-century-long intermission. Talk about an extended bathroom break!.