JANUARY 1, 1998

Full News Archive

• Headline: Coffee and Silver Prices Experience Decline. Impact: The decline in coffee prices led to a caffeine crisis in the 2020s where people started hoarding instant coffee, sparking a black market of overpriced Nescafé. Thanks, 1996!. Fact: Fun fact: Coffee is the second most traded commodity in the world after crude oil. So, essentially, the world runs on caffeine and chaos..
• Headline: FDA Approves Breast Cancer Recurrence Test. Impact: The approval of this test led to a spike in genetically-modified coffee beans that produced not just caffeine but also a side of guilt for every sip. Who knew science could brew such drama?. Fact: Did you know that breast cancer recurrence tests have saved countless lives? It's almost like modern medicine is trying to outdo all those soap operas in cliffhangers..
• Headline: Franconia Journal; He's a Monkey, a Helper and Now a Legal Resident. Impact: Elvis the monkey’s legal residency sparked a trend where pets began filing their own taxes, leading to a complicated IRS mess that no one wants to deal with.. Fact: Elvis's story proves that sometimes the real stars aren’t the humans, but the adorable capuchin monkeys living the good life. Can I get a 'monkey business'?.
• Headline: Helping Hand Replaces Hands-Off Role in Asia. Impact: This shift in policy during the Asian financial crisis led directly to governments worldwide investing heavily in their own failures, resulting in a global economy that feels like a never-ending game of Monopoly gone wrong.. Fact: The 1980s really thought they could just ignore the problems. Turns out, ignoring a financial crisis is like ignoring a toddler with a crayon - it only ends in disaster..
• Headline: A Gas Prospector Files Chapter 11. Impact: The Chapter 11 filing became a trendsetter for other failing companies, resulting in a decade where every business thought bankruptcy was just another way to reinvent themselves. Spoiler alert: It rarely worked.. Fact: Trinity Gas Corp's story is a reminder that not all gas is created equal. Some of it is just a big ol' puff of smoke..
• Headline: A U.S. Judge Strikes Down Parts Of '96 Telecommunications Act. Impact: The judge's ruling opened the floodgates for regional Bell companies, leading to a telecommunications boom that inadvertently caused a surge in annoying robocalls in the 2000s. Thanks, Judge Kendall!. Fact: The Telecommunications Act was supposed to usher in an era of competition, but it seems like it just made things more complicated. Who knew? Oh wait, everyone did..