JANUARY 1, 1975

Full News Archive

• Headline: Sears Sticks to FIFO Inventory Method. Impact: Sears' stubbornness on FIFO led to a cult of anti-LIFO sentiment among accountants, resulting in secret meetings where they would chant 'FIFO Forever!' while wearing matching t-shirts. Meanwhile, inflation took a vacation, leaving economists confused and in need of therapy.. Fact: Did you know that FIFO is not just an accounting method but also a popular method for storing leftovers? Because if you don't eat that pizza in the back of the fridge soon, it will haunt you..
• Headline: Brezhnev's Postponed Iraq Visit. Impact: Brezhnev's health scare prompted a global game of 'Where's Leonid?' that transformed into a reality show, leading to a brief but intense search for a lookalike who could fill in for him at international summits.. Fact: Did you know that Brezhnev had a pet dog named Yurchik? Who had their own handler, because even the pets of Soviet leaders were treated with more dignity than most of the populace..
• Headline: Miami Philharmonic in a Crisis As Financier Quits as President. Impact: The Miami Philharmonic's financial crisis led to a revival of the 'free music in the park' movement, where musicians played for tips and discovered that the audience preferred the sounds of nature over symphonies.. Fact: Did you know that the Miami Philharmonic was once so financially stable that they considered installing gold-plated violins? Now they just hope to find change in the couch cushions..
• Headline: Governor Carey. Impact: Carey's swearing-in sparked a series of complex and convoluted political maneuvers that resulted in a game of political chess—except everyone forgot the rules halfway through and just started shouting.. Fact: Did you know that Hugh L. Carey was known for his ability to make politics sound like an Olympic sport? Spoiler: he never won gold, but he did get a participation trophy..
• Headline: Who Was Subversive?. Impact: The revelations about government payments to witnesses created a new genre of conspiracy theories, where amateur sleuths went on to solve the mystery of the missing Tupperware lids in their own kitchens.. Fact: Did you know that 'subversive' was the most popular word in the 70s? It was like the 'lit' of its day, except it actually meant something serious..
• Headline: Venezuela to the Fore. Impact: Venezuela's diplomatic shift caused a minor cultural renaissance in the region where everyone suddenly became experts in salsa dancing, believing it to be the key to political harmony.. Fact: Did you know that Venezuela and Cuba were once like that on-again, off-again couple who just couldn't figure out their relationship? Let's hope they finally found a good couples therapist..