JANUARY 1, 1962

Full News Archive

• Headline: Soviet-China Ideological Divide Deepens. Impact: The widening rift between the USSR and China led to a domino effect of ideological splits across the globe, creating a decades-long game of 'Who's the Bigger Commie?' that has influenced everything from modern geopolitics to how many times college students can reference Marx in a thesis without getting kicked out.. Fact: Did you know that this ideological rift contributed to the Sino-Soviet split, which is basically the Communist version of a bad breakup? They even unfollowed each other on social media... oh wait..
• Headline: T.W.U. Bus Strike Disrupts Major Routes. Impact: The bus strike resulted in masses of frustrated commuters, who subsequently invented the phrase 'Are we there yet?' long before it became popular with parents and children everywhere. This event is a major turning point in the evolution of public transport complaints.. Fact: Fun fact: This strike stopped the buses but didn’t stop the complaints about buses. If only we could strike against traffic jams too!.
• Headline: Albany Mayor in Sixth Term. Impact: Mayor Corning's sixth term set a precedent for politicians to cling to their positions longer than a toddler does to their favorite toy, leading to an era of political longevity that rivals the lifespan of some tortoises.. Fact: Did you know that Albany had a mayor named Corning? No, not the glass. The other kind—one that holds office!.
• Headline: Wagner Gives Jobs to 7 Who Helped to Elect Him; Joint Ceremony MAYOR REWARDS 7 FOR POLITICAL AID Two Major Appointments. Impact: Wagner's jobs for political allies created a template for future politicians, proving that nepotism is alive and well, and that the phrase 'it’s not what you know, it’s who you know' should be the motto of every political campaign.. Fact: Did you know that rewarding political allies with jobs is like giving a toddler a cookie for sharing? Everyone knows it happens, but nobody wants to talk about it..
• Headline: LIBRARIES REPORT GAINS IN READING; Urban Survey Finds Adults Seek More Serious Books Some Credit Education Find Television Helpful. Impact: The increase in library reading trends hinted at a future where people would eventually abandon print altogether for screens, leading to the modern-day dilemma of 'to read or to scroll,' which has baffled humanity ever since.. Fact: Ironically, the rise in reading serious books came just before everyone decided that cat videos on the internet were way more fulfilling..
• Headline: Enter Wagner, 1962; 'New' Mayor Facing Big Challenges Now That He's Real Democratic Chief A Bastion Falls Matter of Pride Unfinished Tasks. Impact: Wagner's reappointment marked a shift in political dynamics, leading to a surge in campaign slogans that would confuse voters for generations to come, turning every election into a glorified popularity contest.. Fact: Did you know Wagner's challenges were so big that they could have used their own zip code?.
• Headline: PERICONI SHIFTING POSTS TOMORROW; Will Be First G.O.P. Chief of Bronx in Half Century. Impact: Periconi's shift in posts represented a significant moment for the GOP in the Bronx, inspiring an endless cycle of 'firsts' that would eventually lead to the term 'political diversity' being thrown around like confetti.. Fact: Fun fact: Periconi's appointment meant that the Bronx was officially ready to embrace its own version of the political rollercoaster—just with less screaming..
• Headline: WHITE HOUSE GETS MORE RARE ITEMS; 100 Gifts and Loans Include Historic Furnishings. Impact: The White House receiving rare items not only enriched its historical collection but also sparked a bizarre trend of political gifts that would inspire future leaders to one-up each other with increasingly ludicrous items, such as a golden toilet.. Fact: Did you know that these gifts and loans included historic furnishings? Because nothing says 'I run the country' like a sofa that once sat under a sign that says 'Hang in there, baby!'.