JANUARY 1, 1958

Full News Archive

• Headline: IRS Targets Expense Account Abuses in 1958. Impact: This prompted a long line of accountants to become the true heroes of society, tirelessly working to ensure that lunch meetings are fully tax-deductible. The fate of civilization hinged on how many appetizers you could justify!. Fact: Did you know that the IRS once tried to tax the air you breathe? Just kidding, but we can only imagine how far they could go if they really wanted to!.
• Headline: Connecticut State Employees Pay Increase Urged. Impact: This sparked a nationwide trend of government workers staging epic sit-ins at donut shops, demanding better pay and free coffee. Because who can work on an empty stomach?. Fact: Did you know that the average state employee's coffee consumption could fund a small country's GDP? Just saying, coffee is the real economy booster!.
• Headline: First Oil From Algerian Sahara Said to Flow North for France; FIRST SAHARA OIL SAID TO GO NORTH. Impact: This event ultimately led to an international race for oil, causing tensions that would inspire future reality shows like 'Survivor: Oil Edition'. Who knew the Sahara could be so lit?. Fact: Did you know that the Sahara is bigger than the U.S.? Imagine trying to find an oil well in that vastness—talk about needing a really big map!.
• Headline: Boy, 10, Who Lugged Cement on Turnpike To Be Ribicoff's Guest at Its Opening. Impact: The boy’s act of lugging cement made him the poster child for child labor advocates, inadvertently launching a movement that would forever change the way kids look at manual labor—'Wait, we get paid for this?!'. Fact: Did you know that some kids build forts out of pillows instead of lugging cement? This kid clearly took 'playing in the dirt' to a whole new level!.
• Headline: RANK FILMS DROP 250; British Studio Discharges Workers, Delays Movies. Impact: This led to a surge in independent filmmaking, as 250 disgruntled ex-employees decided to take their talents to YouTube. Who knew that unemployment could spark a billion-dollar industry?. Fact: Did you know that Rank Films once made a movie so bad it became a cult classic? Sometimes, a disaster is just the beginning of a legendary career!.
• Headline: N.I.C.B. Elects Hans Stauffer. Impact: This led to a series of increasingly questionable board member elections, culminating in a reality TV show where CEOs compete in literal board games. Because who doesn’t want to watch corporate giants play Monopoly?. Fact: Did you know that 'N.I.C.B.' might just be the world's most boring acronym? It's like the DMV of financial institutions!.
• Headline: SOVIET SCIENTIST EXPLAINS THEORY; Superconductivity Concept for Metals in Cold Is Said to Differ From Bardeen's. Impact: This led to a heated debate that echoed through the annals of physics, resulting in a secret society of scientists who met in basements to discuss who really invented superconductivity. Spoiler alert: it's still a mystery!. Fact: Did you know that superconductivity is like that magic trick where you make a coin disappear, except it’s a whole lot more complicated and involves a lot of very cold metals?.
• Headline: Parkway Chief Named. Impact: This seemingly mundane appointment led to the most dramatic parkway road trips in history, with the new chief declaring that every road sign must feature at least one pun. Road trips would never be the same!. Fact: Did you know that parkway chiefs have a secret club where they share the worst road trip stories? Spoiler: It always ends with a flat tire and a missing sandwich!.