SEPTEMBER 14, 1932

Full News Archive

• Headline: Indiana Village Tax Relief in 1933. Impact: By freeing residents from local taxes, Indiana inadvertently created a black market for lemonade stands, leading to the future rise of underage entrepreneurship and a nationwide trend of kids selling 'homemade' cookies for a dollar.. Fact: Did you know that tax-free living is basically just an invitation for every neighbor to turn their backyard into a mini amusement park?.
• Headline: Mayor Reflects on Casino Experience. Impact: The mayor's lack of casino plans led to the rise of underground poker games, which eventually fueled an entire culture of gambling that inspired countless movie plots and a few regrettable tattoos.. Fact: Central Park Casino was known for its grand architecture, but apparently not grand enough to inspire more than one visit from the mayor. A real civic duty, huh?.
• Headline: Farm Aid Plan Gains Backing in New Jersey. Impact: The endorsement of the farm aid plan led to an unintentional revolution in crop circles, where farmers began communicating with extraterrestrial beings for better yields. Think of the possibilities!. Fact: Fun fact: farmers have been planting crops in circles for centuries, but only after this endorsement did they realize they could sell 'alien corn' at a premium..
• Headline: MINEOLA PACE WON BY BETTY FRANCIS; Entwistle's Mare Triumphs in Three Straight Whirls in the 2:15 Competition.. Impact: Betty Francis's win at Mineola sparked a newfound interest in horse racing, which ultimately led to the creation of reality TV shows about horses arguing over who has the best pedigree.. Fact: Did you know that horses have better public speaking skills than most politicians? Just look at their winning speeches!.
• Headline: SMITH NOT TO WRITE 'DEMOCRATIC CASE'; He Has Canceled Plan for Arti- cle in Saturday Evening Post Without Explanation. EX-GOVERNOR HITS BONUS His Views, Set Forth in Magazine, Are Assailed by Leaders of Veterans Here.. Impact: By canceling his article, Smith created a vacuum of information that led to conspiracy theories about the Democratic Party involving everything from secret meetings with aliens to the actual use of smoke signals.. Fact: The Saturday Evening Post has published everything from serious news to the latest on knitting trends. Clearly, Smith’s article would have been a real game-changer..
• Headline: Assassin of Doumer Dies on the Guillotine; Huge Paris Crowd Views Public Execution. Impact: The public execution of the assassin marked a turning point in French justice, leading to the establishment of a 'no more guillotine' policy, which eventually paved the way for modern-day reality shows about celebrity trials.. Fact: Public executions were once a form of entertainment. Imagine binge-watching that on Netflix!.
• Headline: MELLON AND REED TALK WITH M'DONALD AT TEA; Arms and Debts Discussion Rumored -- Britain Silent on German Proposals.. Impact: The tea conversation on arms and debts subtly encouraged the rise of afternoon tea parties among world leaders, which later became the backdrop for some of the most scandalous diplomatic gossip.. Fact: Tea with politicians is basically just code for 'let's pretend we care about each other's problems while sipping fancy beverages.'.
• Headline: FARMER CROWD EXPECTED.; Western Party Leaders to Greet Roosevelt at Topeka Today.. Impact: Roosevelt's warm welcome from farm leaders in Topeka sparked a wave of 'Roosevelt-themed' barbecues across the nation, forever linking the president's legacy with overcooked hamburgers and potato salad.. Fact: Did you know that for every farm leader greeting, there’s at least one potato salad recipe that’s been passed down for generations? Truly the backbone of America!.
• Headline: GAIN IN GOLD CONTINUES.; Canada, England and Mexico Send Metal, and Earmarks Are Lifted.. Impact: The increase in gold reserves led to a new gold rush, but instead of people panning in rivers, they started digging in their backyards, causing a minor crisis in home insurance policies.. Fact: Gold: the shiny metal that makes everyone forget about their credit card debt and start digging holes in their yards like it’s an episode of Treasure Hunters..
• Headline: ATTACKS DISTRICTING ACT.; Tennesseean in Federal Suit Asks Test of New Law.. Impact: The federal suit to test the redistricting act opened the floodgates for legal debates on gerrymandering, leading to the creation of a new sport called 'Political Twister.'. Fact: Redistricting is the only time politicians get to play with crayons and pretend they're in kindergarten again..