AUGUST 14, 1932

Full News Archive

• Headline: Review of 'Fuzzy and His Neighbors'. Impact: The publication of 'Fuzzy and His Neighbors' sparked an underground movement where all true stories must now be illustrated. This led to a nationwide shortage of crayons and a sudden spike in adult coloring book sales.. Fact: Fun fact: Fuzzy was actually a dog who had a better social life than most humans..
• Headline: Two New Plays Premier in 1932. Impact: The tryout of these new plays caused a nationwide epidemic of theatergoers pretending to be cultured while actually just wanting to sit in air conditioning. Dramatic irony at its finest!. Fact: Did you know that 'When Ladies Meet' was the first play to feature a character who was only there to raise the audience's expectations?.
• Headline: REFUNDING OUTLOOK FOR UTILITIES GOOD; Critical Aug. 1 Maturity Seen as Passed With Minimum of Trouble. BANK DEBTS REDUCED 28% Survey of 16 of the Leading Holding Companies Shows Hard Tests Were Met. DECLINE IN COST IS SMALL Maturities Due by June 30 Next Are 36.6% Below Those of a Year Before. REFUNDING OUTLOOK FOR UTILITIES GOOD. Impact: As utilities found a silver lining in their refunding outlook, it inadvertently led to the Great Utility Reinvestment, where people suddenly cared about their electric bills. Who knew financial stability could be so... shocking?. Fact: Fun fact: This was the moment when people started confusing their electric meters with their fitness trackers..
• Headline: NAMED TO SEMINARY POST.; Rev. E.H. Roberts Chosen Registrar at Princston School.. Impact: Rev. E.H. Roberts' appointment as registrar made theological education so organized that students began using spreadsheets to calculate their sins, leading to a rise in therapy sessions.. Fact: Did you know that Rev. Roberts once tried to register as a contestant on a reality show? Spoiler: He didn't make the cut..
• Headline: HITLER DEMANDS OFFICE AS DICTATOR; HINDENBURG BARS IT; Nazi Chief Refuses Secondary Post, Asking Power of 'Musso- lini After March on Rome.' EMERGENCY DECREE READY Prussian Police and Special Detective Squads Prepare to Crush Any Outbreak. ADVANCE ON BERLIN DENIED Future Action of Fascist Forces Un- certain -- Threat of Defeat Faces von Papen. HITLER DEMANDS OFFICE AS DICTATOR. Impact: Hitler's demand for dictatorial power sent shockwaves through Europe, triggering a series of unfortunate events that eventually led to a worldwide obsession with mustaches. The irony is palpable.. Fact: Fun fact: Hitler's rejection was the first time someone was turned down for a job due to 'too much ambition.'.
• Headline: $2,000,000 Receipts, 1,000,000 Attendance Estimated for Olympics, Which Close Today. Impact: The Olympics' massive attendance and revenue established the precedent for sports to become a commercial juggernaut. Today, we have Super Bowl snacks costing more than the average car. Thanks, Olympics!. Fact: Did you know that back then, Olympic athletes were just happy to get a medal, not a multi-million dollar endorsement deal?.
• Headline: REVISES SALES TALK AFTER PLANE CRASH; Pilot Hauls Customer Out of Wreckage and Tries to Sell Him the Motor Instead. BUT PROSPECT WALKS OFF Sales Resistance Soars to New High Altitude After Abrupt Jolt In Flushing Marshland.. Impact: After the plane crash, the pilot's sales pitch turned into a bizarre trend where crash survivors became the hottest new sales reps. 'Survived a near-death experience? Buy my vacuum cleaner!'. Fact: Fun fact: This pilot later became a motivational speaker, proving that even crashes can lead to successful careers in sales..
• Headline: RAY GRAHAM ENDS LIFE BY DROWNING; Auto Manufacturer, 45, Eludes Party in Chatham, Ont., and Leaps Into a Creek. HAD SUFFERED BREAKDOWN He Was Being Taken by Brother and Priest to Morristown (N.J.) Re- treat -- Called Mechanical Genius.. Impact: Ray Graham's tragic end sparked a nationwide discussion about mental health, leading to the establishment of support groups named 'The Auto Manufacturers' Club.' Because nothing says healing like bonding over car parts.. Fact: Did you know that Ray was once invited to a car convention, but he decided to take a different route... literally?.
• Headline: GOES FROM JERUSALEM TO BAGDAD LEGATION; Paul Knabenshue of Toledo Is Transferred as First Resi- dent Minister.. Impact: Paul Knabenshue's transfer to Baghdad marked the beginning of a series of diplomatic missions that would eventually lead to many confused tourists thinking they could just walk into embassies for free snacks.. Fact: Fun fact: Paul once tried to start a trend of sending postcards from every country, but his friends just thought he was ghosting them..