MARCH 24, 1932

Full News Archive

• Headline: HitchcockuWhite Engagement Announcement. Impact: This engagement led to a series of romantic entanglements that inspired countless subpar romantic comedies, ultimately culminating in the rise of reality TV dating shows that haunt our screens today.. Fact: Engagements were once a serious affair; nowadays, they often come with a side of Instagram likes and a reality TV contract..
• Headline: Ann Harding and Bannister Divorce Agreement. Impact: This divorce not only ended a marriage, but also indirectly resulted in the invention of the phrase 'It’s not you, it’s me,' which has since been used to dodge responsibility in countless relationships.. Fact: Divorce rates have skyrocketed since, proving that maybe 'being known as someone's husband' isn't all it's cracked up to be..
• Headline: Murder of J and M McDonald in 1932. Impact: The tragic demise of the McDonald couple sent shockwaves through Norwich, leading to a new wave of crime dramas that romanticized the dark side of suburban life, giving rise to the 'murder mystery dinner.'. Fact: Every murder mystery dinner party can be traced back to this event, proving that tragedy can be a great source of entertainment!.
• Headline: Cezanne, Gauguin and Redon.. Impact: The art world was forever changed as Cezanne, Gauguin, and Redon became the trio that inspired future generations of hipsters to hang overpriced prints in their apartments, claiming they 'just love the color palette.'. Fact: Cezanne once said, 'I want to make of my painting a kind of paradise.' Apparently, he hadn’t considered the impact of modern-day art critics..
• Headline: PRINCETON SENIORS ELECT.; Name Algernon Roberts Graduate Secretary for Five-Year Term.. Impact: Algernon Roberts' election led to a string of uninspired student government officials who would go on to make decisions that would only ever affect the cafeteria menu.. Fact: Becoming a graduate secretary is the academic equivalent of being named 'Employee of the Month' at a fast food joint. Congratulations on the achievement, Algernon!.
• Headline: ADMINISTRATION PINS HOPES ON DEMOCRATS; Capital Observes a Republican Regime Relying on Its Foes to Pass Sales Tax. THE BUDGET IS PARAMOUNT Politics Does Not Matter if It Can Be Balanced -- Veto Awaits Any Inflated Bonus Plan. FOES HOLD HOPES OF ADMINISTRATION. Impact: This political gridlock not only shaped the future of tax legislation but also inspired countless memes about the futility of government, leading us to the current age of social media outrage.. Fact: The phrase 'hopes pinned on Democrats' could easily be mistaken for the title of a romantic comedy featuring a man who buys a lottery ticket for love..
• Headline: PERRY AIDE BACKS STORY ON DEPOSITS; Produces Book With Record of Many Loans Made to Clerk of City Court. CULKIN DETAILS ADVANCES Many Others Tell of Helping Official -- Most of Cash Repaid, Witnesses Declare.. Impact: The revelations about Perry's loans resulted in a wave of trust issues that permeated city politics, leading to an increased demand for transparency – which is still being completely ignored today.. Fact: Loan stories are the modern-day equivalent of gossip magazines; everyone loves to hear about someone else's financial woes..
• Headline: FISCAL AID FAVORED FOR THREE NATIONS; League Group to Ask Loans for Austria and Greece and Cut in Bulgarian Debt Service. BALKAN UNION PLAN WAIVED Is Not Insisted Upon as Preliminary to Assistance -- Hungary Advised to Extend Moratorium.. Impact: This plea for fiscal aid inadvertently laid the groundwork for international debt negotiations, ultimately leading to the creation of more acronyms than anyone could keep track of in the financial world.. Fact: The phrase 'Balkan Union Plan' sounds like a failed attempt at a new energy drink – who knew it was about financial stability instead?.