MARCH 23, 1932

Full News Archive

• Headline: Oldoway Man: Discovery of Ancient Skeleton. Impact: Had the Oldoway Man skeleton not been discovered, we might still be debating if humans evolved from lizards or if we were all just dropped here by aliens. Thanks, L.S.B. Leakey, for keeping the conspiracy theorists at bay... and fueling their fire simultaneously.. Fact: Did you know that the Oldoway Man predates the invention of the selfie by thousands of years? Imagine the likes he'd have gotten on Instagram!.
• Headline: Straus Resigns from State Aid Board. Impact: Straus resigning led to a domino effect of board resignations, resulting in the formation of an entirely new business model based on the 'work from home' ethos. Little did they know they were paving the way for pajama-clad conference calls decades later.. Fact: Did you know that P.J. Wickser probably had no idea he was stepping into a role that would redefine 'business casual'? Spoiler alert: it involves a lot of sweatpants..
• Headline: ROOSEVELT BEGINS TOUR OF PHILIPPINES; Governor, Acclaimed in Nueva Ecija Province, Studies Eco- nomic and Social Issues.. Impact: Roosevelt's tour of the Philippines laid the groundwork for future American influence in the region, leading to a complex relationship that still has people arguing on Twitter about imperialism and cultural appropriation.. Fact: Did you know that Roosevelt's tour didn't include any social media? Imagine the hashtags he could have created..
• Headline: MORE TROOPS LIKELY TO GO TO MANCHURIA, TOKYO DIET IS TOLD; Araki Says Outcome There Is More Vital to Japan Than Was War With Russia. ARMY'S WORK IS PRAISED War Minister Says Troops in Manchuria Now Total 30,000 -- Military Fund Voted. FIGHT OVER CABINET CROWS Hiranuma, Old Bureaucratic Chief, May Be Called On to Form a Non-Partisan Government. NEW TROOPS LIKELY TO GO TO MANCHURIA. Impact: The first rain in 64 days was a watershed moment for London, leading to the invention of the world's first umbrella as people scrambled to avoid getting wet. Little did they know, this would later spawn the 'Rainy Day Fund.'. Fact: Did you know that Londoners have been complaining about the weather since the dawn of time? I guess some things never change!.
• Headline: HONORS DR. H.W. THOMPSON; Royal Society of Edinburgh Elects Albany Educator.. Impact: The Swiss avalanches highlighted the dangers of mountain climbing, prompting a wave of new safety regulations and leading to the invention of the 'always bring a sandwich' rule for outdoor adventurers.. Fact: Did you know that climbing in Switzerland is so dangerous that it makes a trip to the DMV seem like a day at the park? Just kidding, the DMV is a nightmare..
• Headline: Industrial Crash Feared.. Impact: The push for low-cost homes marked the beginning of affordable housing discussions, leading to endless debates that still confuse politicians today. It's like they forgot that people need places to live, not just tax breaks.. Fact: Did you know that apartments at $7.50 a room today would be a steal? But good luck finding one without a roommate who eats all your snacks..