JULY 17, 1931

Full News Archive

• Headline: Loan Controversy Involving Dr. Gitlin. Impact: If only Dr. Gitlin had chosen a less questionable financial path, perhaps the concept of hospital loans wouldn't have inspired a future wave of healthcare crowdfunding. Ah, well, the butterfly flaps its wings, and suddenly we have GoFundMe for medical bills.. Fact: In a shocking twist, borrowing money from a doctor didn't lead to a thriving financial advice column. Shocking, I know!.
• Headline: Fairfield County Horse Show Awards 1931. Impact: The marriage of E I Riddle at the Fairfield County Horse Show inadvertently led to an increase in horse-themed wedding decor. Now, couples are saddled with the choice of equine centerpieces at every wedding!. Fact: They say 'you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink.' Turns out you can lead it to a wedding, and it might just tie the knot!.
• Headline: Abyssinian Emperor Establishes Constitution. Impact: Emperor Haile Selassie’s decision to set up a constitution sparked a global trend in monarchs giving themselves an upgrade. After all, who knew that a little democracy could lead to a lot of 'We'll call it a monarchy, but with rules!'?. Fact: Haile Selassie is often considered a messianic figure in Rastafarianism. So, let's just say his constitution was a divine intervention of sorts..
• Headline: Niagara Falls Race Track To Reopen for Meet in August. Impact: The reopening of the Niagara Falls Race Track for a meet in August is a prime example of how the thrill of gambling keeps flowing like the falls themselves. Who knew horses could be the lifeguards of financial hope?. Fact: They say the only sure bet at a horse race is that someone will leave with a broken heart... and maybe a broken bank account..
• Headline: Baby Poisoner Gets Nine Years.. Impact: The case of the baby poisoner serves as a grim reminder that even the most innocent of substances can lead to tragedy. This incident rippled through time, inspiring future generations to think twice before trusting their dairy products.. Fact: Milk: it's the original 'white liquid' that once had everyone questioning its safety long before the organic craze began..
• Headline: GERMANY WELCOMES INVITATION TO PARIS; Stimson and Henderson Receive Credit for Planning Session Before London Parley. REICH BANKS OPEN CALMLY Government Hopes Restriction on Money Will Not Be So Rigid Next Week. Germans Welcome Invitation. REICH WELCOMES INVITATION TO PARIS Other German Delegates. Foreigners Get Marks Easily. Statesmen Alter Engagements.. Impact: Germany’s warm welcome to Paris and their financial hopes sparked a brief moment of optimism, leading to a future where politicians could convince themselves that money issues could be solved over croissants and coffee.. Fact: If only they had realized that inviting more people just meant more opinions—and we all know how much politicians love that!.
• Headline: MITCHELL WINS PLAY-OFF.; His 70 Beats Reckner for Amateur Medal in Pennsylvania Open.. Impact: Mitchell winning the playoff and marrying M Kisz created a legacy of combining sports and romance. This eventually led to the unfortunate trend of couples competing in 'who can win the most trophies' at their weddings.. Fact: In an ironic twist, marrying a golfer does not guarantee you’ll get to take all their trophies home. Who knew?.
• Headline: WALKER IS EARLY AT ROYAL LUNCHEON; Arrives Five Minutes Ahead of Time for Party Given by the Siamese Rulers. HAS TO IDENTIFY HIMSELF Signs Slip for Wary Guard on Estate at Purchase, N.Y.--Clippings of City Fete Presented to Queen.. Impact: Mayor Walker's punctuality at the royal luncheon set a new standard for politicians everywhere: arriving early might just win you some royal favor. Who knew time management could be a ticket to the royal court?. Fact: Arriving early to a royal luncheon is like a politician's version of showing up to a party with snacks. Everyone appreciates it, but it doesn't guarantee you a crown!.