MARCH 15, 1931

Full News Archive

• Headline: Venzke Triumphs in Columbian Mile. Impact: Venzke's win sparked an astonishing chain of events leading to the establishment of an underground running league where competitors wear capes and race at midnight. Who knew a simple mile could lead to superhero shenanigans?. Fact: Did you know that if Venzke had lost, the world might have never known the joy of midnight capes? You're welcome, history!.
• Headline: Garnham Triumphs at 1931 Golf Tourney. Impact: Miss Garnham's victory is believed to have inspired a whole generation of women to take up golf, leading to the eventual creation of a women's golf league where they strategized over tea and scones instead of actually playing golf.. Fact: Fun fact: Miss Garnham's name was almost changed to 'Miss Hole-in-One' after her victory. But alas, the world wasn't ready..
• Headline: Radio Business in 1930. Impact: The booming radio business of 1930 led to the invention of the 'radio talk show' format, which ultimately paved the way for countless hours of people talking about absolutely nothing of importance. Thanks, radios!. Fact: Did you know that for every radio sold, three more were used as doorstops? Truly a testament to innovation..
• Headline: Building Loan Election.. Impact: The election of the vice president of the Bank Clerks' Savings and Loan Association resulted in a national trend of boring meetings, subsequently leading to an increase in coffee consumption and donut sales.. Fact: Did you know that most bank meetings are just a front for the world's largest coffee breaks? Shh, don’t tell!.
• Headline: 3 HELD IN PLOT IN VIENNA.; Believed to Have Planned to Kill Yugoslav Exiles There.. Impact: The plot to assassinate Yugoslav exiles in Vienna inadvertently led to the establishment of a very popular escape room game based on historical espionage. Who would have thought tragedy could inspire fun?. Fact: Fun fact: If only those plotters had taken up escape rooms instead, they might have improved their teamwork skills!.
• Headline: ALTERATION TRIALS UNDER NEW LAW; Engineer Considers It Is Too Severe Upon Owners of Small Houses. BARS MANY IMPROVEMENTS Hardship, Says Mr. Eckmann, is Provision for Interior Bathroom Ventilation.. Impact: The trials regarding alterations under the new law spurred a nationwide outrage, leading to a decade-long debate on whether or not bathrooms should have windows. Spoiler alert: they still don’t.. Fact: Did you know that the first indoor bathroom was considered a luxury? Now it’s just a 'please don’t talk to me' sanctuary!.
• Headline: ALLIED NATIONS HONOR PIGEONS FOR HEROISM SHOWN IN THE WAR; Belgium Joins America and France in Commemorating The Exploits of Feathered Message Bearers. Impact: Honoring heroic pigeons somehow led to a worldwide trend of people adopting pigeons as pets, resulting in a rise in pigeon fashion shows. Feathers and sequins, anyone?. Fact: Did you know that pigeon fashion shows are actually a thing? No, seriously. Feathers are the new black..
• Headline: END FIRST HALF OF TRIP THROUGH SAHARA DESERT. Impact: The first half of the Sahara trip was so thrilling that it inspired countless travel blogs about the 'dangers' of adventurous road trips. Spoiler: there’s always a bathroom break.. Fact: Did you know that the Sahara is basically just a giant sandbox? Imagine the sandcastles!.
• Headline: NEW POST FOR NEW YORKER; Vice Consul Smedburg Shifted to Dundee--Other Changes.. Impact: Vice Consul Smedburg's move to Dundee triggered a diplomatic scandal that would lead to an international convention on the proper way to shuffle diplomats around cities—because apparently, geography is hard.. Fact: Fun fact: The title 'Vice Consul' is actually just a fancy way of saying 'I'm here, but not really.'.
• Headline: FORTHCOMING METRO-GOLDWYN-MAYER PICTURES; Other Productions. Miss Garbo's Picture. Man in Possession. In Foreign Tongues.. Impact: The anticipation of Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer's pictures led to the creation of the first 'movie night' tradition, which eventually spiraled into a culture of binge-watching that we all know and love today.. Fact: Did you know that the phrase 'Let's watch a movie' was originally a battle cry? Now it’s just a reason to avoid social interaction!.