NOVEMBER 11, 1930

Full News Archive

• Headline: Brooklyn Bureau Suspends Staff for Graft. Impact: This drive to end graft caused a chain reaction where future drivers' schools would require extensive background checks. As a result, one overly cautious applicant in 2025 was denied a license because his cat had a criminal record for stealing fish. Cats can’t drive, folks.. Fact: Did you know that 'graft' in this context has nothing to do with the stuff you see in a botany class? It’s all about corruption, not those fun plant surgeries..
• Headline: De Forest Van Slyck Divorced in Reno. Impact: As a consequence of this divorce, a new reality show genre was born: 'Critique or Divorce.' Fast forward to today, and we have people getting divorced over bad cooking and questionable fashion choices every other week.. Fact: Did you know that Reno is often called the 'Biggest Little City in the World'? Apparently, it’s also the biggest little city for dramatic marriages and divorces..
• Headline: Buffalo Robbery Hero Faces Shortage Charges. Impact: This robbery incident led to an increased focus on bank security measures. Funny enough, if they had just hired a magician, they could have made the money disappear instead. Poof! No shortage!. Fact: Did you know that the term 'shortage' doesn't just refer to money? It can also apply to common sense in the case of robbers..
• Headline: MACDONALD CHARGES WORLD LAGS BEHIND BRITAIN IN PEACE; Premier, at Mayor's Banquet, Doubts We Have Learned Bitter Lesson of War. HINTS AT INDIAN CONCESSION Empire Will Grant That Freedom Essential to NationalSelf-Respect, He Asserts. ADMITS SERIOUS PROBLEMS Laborite Leader Is Hopeful, However, for Economic Future--Broadcast Heard Clearly Here. Praises Empire Parley. Reception Here Excellent. MacDonald Says World Lags in Insuring Peace Tribute to Indian Colleagues. Many Problems Considered. Welcome to New Conference. Calls Affairs Unsettled. Says Britain Sought Peace. Holds World Must Follow Suit. Competition Is Keen. Great Problems to Face. Asks All to Play the Game.. Impact: MacDonald’s speech inspired many future politicians to give lengthy speeches about peace while simultaneously preparing for war. It's basically the blueprint for modern diplomacy: talk a lot, do little.. Fact: Did you know that calling for peace while hinting at concessions is basically the political equivalent of saying 'let's be friends' right before a fistfight?.
• Headline: STORM-BATTERED LINER IN; The Berlin Arrives Day Late After Encountering Hurricane.. Impact: The arrival of the SS Berlin after a hurricane sparked a new trend in 'storm-chasing' tourism. Who needs a beach vacation when you can ride out a hurricane on a luxury liner?. Fact: Did you know that some people still think that 'hurricane party' means celebrating the storm? Spoiler: it’s not as fun as it sounds..
• Headline: ASKS AID FOR SUFFOLK IDLE; W.K. Macy Urges 1,000 Residents to Organize Relief for Needy.. Impact: Macy’s plea for aid became the inspiration for countless future fundraisers, all featuring awkward telethons and sad puppies. Because nothing says 'help the needy' like a celebrity reading a script while holding a dog.. Fact: Did you know that asking for aid is much more effective if you throw in a few sad stories and a catchy jingle? Just ask any charity!.
• Headline: TOLD OF SAVAGERY OF BRAZILIAN INDIANS; Wife of Missionary Who Was Killed in Juruena Called Tribe Murderers in Talk.. Impact: This missionary's tragedy led to heightened tensions between tribes and outsiders, and now we have countless films depicting this scenario—most of which get it hilariously wrong.. Fact: Did you know that the term 'savagery' has evolved to be more about misunderstanding than actual violence? But hey, let's not let facts ruin a good story..
• Headline: LINKS R-101 DISASTER TO THE EMPIRE PARLEY. Impact: Linking the R-101 disaster to the Empire Parley made future politicians wary of hosting large gatherings. Now, they prefer conference calls—much easier to blame the Wi-Fi connection if things go south.. Fact: Did you know that sometimes linking unrelated events can actually create conspiracy theories? Welcome to modern politics!.
• Headline: JAPANESE AGREE ON NAVAL BUDGET; $186,000,000 for Six Years Is a Concession of $36,000,000 by Government to Navy Staff. TREATY SAVING $67,500,000 Taxpayers Will Benefit $5,000,000 in 1932 and $12,500,000 Each of Succeeding Five Years.. Impact: The budget agreement led Japan to become a leading economic power, but ironically, it also spurred a series of video games depicting naval battles that continue to confuse actual historical events.. Fact: Did you know that $186 million sounds like a lot, but it’s really just a drop in the ocean compared to what governments spend on coffee?.
• Headline: SPANISH ELECTION DELAYED; Census Will Require Until March 1 --Madrid General Strike Threatens.. Impact: The delayed election resulted in political gridlock that set a precedent for future governments to blame everything on census delays. Welcome to the age of procrastination politics!. Fact: Did you know that a census is just a fancy way of counting people who are trying to avoid doing their taxes? Just another fun fact about bureaucracy!.