AUGUST 31, 1930

Full News Archive

• Headline: City Employment Aide Responds to Favoritism Claims. Impact: F Grant's denial of favoritism led to a drastic increase in job applications, resulting in a massive influx of bizarre applicants over the decades, eventually leading to a reality TV show about job seekers. Who knew a denial could launch a thousand bad auditions?. Fact: Fun fact: The phrase 'too busy to discriminate' could be the slogan for many government offices, but it's never quite as catchy as it sounds..
• Headline: Papal Coach's Lost Lilies Rediscovered. Impact: The rediscovery of the papal lilies sparked a renaissance of flower-themed scandals in the Vatican, leading to the infamous 'Flowergate' of the 1980s, where every bloom was suspect, and tulips were banned from the premises.. Fact: It took 24 years to find those lilies, proving that some people really do have a knack for losing things. Next time, try looking under the seat..
• Headline: Exploring Allingham's Verses. Impact: Allingham's verses became an underground hit among poets, eventually leading to a poetic revolution that put rhyming schemes on the political agenda, causing an unforeseen rise in pretentious coffee shops across the nation.. Fact: Robin Redbreast is not just a bird; it's also what you call a poet who can't find a real job..
• Headline: 30 Hay-Fever Clinics Expect 75,000 Visits In City's War on Ailment During Year. Impact: The hay-fever clinics' anticipated visits led to a national debate about allergies, resulting in the invention of the first allergy-free bubble, which unfortunately became a breeding ground for social awkwardness.. Fact: 75,000 visits for hay fever? Sounds like a great way to spend your weekends—sniffling and sneezing in a waiting room filled with other sneezy folks..
• Headline: Seattle Hunters Quit Africa.. Impact: The Seattle hunters' return from Africa led to a wave of 'safari envy' among suburban dads, sparking the creation of backyard safari kits that included inflatable lions and plastic rifles.. Fact: Leaving Africa after three months of hunting? That's either a sign of bad luck or the realization that the only thing harder to catch than game is a decent Wi-Fi signal in the wilderness..
• Headline: STUDY NEW DEVICES IN BUILDING WORK; Employers' Association Members See in Operation Methodsto Insure Men's Safety.SKYSCRAPERS HERE VISITEDCampaign for the Purpose of Reducing Annual Casualty ListWill Be Resumed In Fall. Metal Enclosures for Hoists.. Impact: The focus on accident prevention in construction resulted in the eventual creation of a 'safety culture' that led to the invention of hard hats that were actually fashionable—because who wants to look like a construction worker when you can look like a runway model?. Fact: Metal enclosures for hoists? Sounds like someone was really overestimating the intelligence of construction workers. 'Hey, let’s put a cage around it so they don’t fall!'.
• Headline: GREEFF WANTS PRISON MADE ISLAND HOSPITAL; Commissioner Plans to Convert Welfare Penitentiary Into New City Institution.. Impact: Greeff's proposal to convert a prison into a hospital led to a booming niche market for 'rehabilitative healthcare,' where inmates became the new health gurus, leading to a rise in prison yoga classes.. Fact: Converting a prison into a hospital sounds great until you realize the nurses may have more in common with the patients than you thought..
• Headline: Negro's Ark, Built for Flood, Hides Brew That Costs Life.