JUNE 21, 1930

Full News Archive

• Headline: Innovative Napkins for Railroad Diners. Impact: The introduction of oversized napkins led to an unexpected increase in passenger comfort, resulting in an accidental rise in railroad dining etiquette. This, in turn, inspired a generation of train conductors to become aspiring chefs, inadvertently birthing the gourmet train dining experience, leaving us with meals served on china instead of paper plates.. Fact: Because nothing says 'luxurious travel' like a napkin the size of a picnic blanket!.
• Headline: Rogers Struggles to Honor Bobby Jones. Impact: Rogers' indecision initiated a ripple effect of confusion that led to the creation of absurd sports awards, culminating in the bizarre 'Best Hair on a Golf Course' trophy that we see in today’s tournaments.. Fact: If only Rogers had thought to give him a trophy made of gold and a lifetime supply of golf balls!.
• Headline: DENY SENATOR BAIRD WED.; Friends Say the Ceremony May Take Place in Toledo.. Impact: This denial led to a string of increasingly elaborate wedding proposals that evolved into a competitive sport, resulting in today's reality shows themed around extravagant engagements and proposals that make the actual marriage seem like an afterthought.. Fact: Because nothing says 'I love you' like a public spectacle involving a mariachi band and a flash mob!.
• Headline: Peace Congress Meets Aug. 12.. Impact: The gathering of this peace congress inadvertently inspired generations of diplomats to hold even more congresses, leading to the current state of endless international summits where they discuss world peace over overpriced coffee.. Fact: Spoiler alert: They still haven't figured it out, but at least the snacks are good!.
• Headline: ASKS PARKING RELIEF.; Times Square Delegation Wants Ban Lifted During Summer.. Impact: This plea for parking relief initiated a chaotic summer of traffic jams that would inspire several generations to invent ride-sharing apps, leading to the eventual decline of personal vehicle ownership. Who knew congestion could lead to innovation?. Fact: Because what better way to enjoy Times Square than by inching forward in a car for half an hour?.
• Headline: ARCHITECTS OPEN CONGRESS; Pan-American Sessions Start in Rio de Janeiro With Brilliant Ceremony.. Impact: The architects' congress led to a worldwide obsession with skyscrapers, ultimately resulting in cities that look like they were designed by a child playing with building blocks. Who doesn't love a good game of 'how high can we go'?. Fact: Inspiration for future architects: the taller the building, the less you have to worry about landscaping!.
• Headline: JURY FREES COOLEY; WOULD RESTORE JOB; Petition Accompanying Verdict Asks Judges to Reinstate Him as Probation Chief. DEFENDANT NEAR COLLAPSE Says He Lost 38 Pounds During Case--Friends Attempt Demonstration in Court. Friends Start Demonstration. Cooley Silent on Plans. JURY FREES COOLEY; WOULD RESTORE JOB. Impact: Cooley's exoneration became a landmark case that fueled the movement for probation reform, leading to a future where individuals could binge-watch courtroom dramas without worrying about the accuracy of the portrayal. Thanks, Cooley!. Fact: And they say courtroom dramas are a waste of time – this one practically wrote itself!.
• Headline: MISS HOLM SETS RECORD.; Lowers 400-Yard Back Stroke by 7 Seconds at Wilkes-Barre.. Impact: Miss Holm's impressive record-setting swim inspired generations of swimmers to push their limits, eventually leading to the absurdity of Olympic events that involve swimming while holding a toaster. Progress, right?. Fact: 7 seconds might not sound like much, but in swimming, it's basically the difference between 'Olympic Champion' and 'just a really enthusiastic swimmer!'.