MARCH 9, 1930

Full News Archive

• Headline: Massive Radio Report by A.P. Service. Impact: This monumental outpouring of words led to the invention of the term 'information overload,' which in turn inspired the creation of social media, where people now share their brunch choices in 280 characters or less.. Fact: If you stacked all those words, you could build a small house. But who would want to live in a house made of newspaper? Talk about a fire hazard..
• Headline: Ancient Copper Saw Discovery in Chicago. Impact: This copper saw was eventually used as evidence that ancient civilizations were way ahead of their time, sparking debates about time travel, which led to several conspiracy theories and a Netflix documentary.. Fact: Fun fact: The ancient Egyptians might have had a better grasp on tools than some DIY enthusiasts today. They didn’t even have YouTube tutorials!.
• Headline: Public Utilities Regulation in 1930. Impact: This debate resulted in a generation of politicians who realized that regulating corporations was like trying to herd cats—except the cats are charging you for the privilege.. Fact: New York has been giving guidance on public utilities since the dawn of time, or at least since someone decided to charge for water instead of just letting it fall from the sky..
• Headline: POTOMAC RIVER BEAUTY TO BE DEVELOPED ANEW; Bill Passed by House Authorizes $16,000,000 Outlay to Include Both Shores From Mount Vernon to the Great Falls in a National Parkway Project Capital's Natural Beauties. A Living Memorial. Varied Scenic Attractions. States Will Co-operate. ONE OF THE BEAUTIFUL SPOTS NEAR WASHINGTON. Impact: The development of the Potomac River led to a surge in tourism, which later inspired the creation of selfies, resulting in millions of people misinterpreting 'natural beauty' as their own duck face.. Fact: The Potomac is beautiful and all, but it’s also a river, which means it probably won't tolerate your Instagram filters..
• Headline: A ROUND OF GALLERIES; Sprinchorn, Stoenesco, Nisbet, Williams and Others--Notable Work in Sculpture LOCAL NOTES. Impact: These local sculptures paved the way for future generations of art critics who would eventually argue over whether a pile of bricks is art or just a pile of bricks.. Fact: If you think modern art is confusing, just remember that at one point, people thought a sculpture could be made of anything—even a pile of bricks..
• Headline: Trade Group to Hear Noted Fliers.. Impact: This meeting resulted in a collective realization that flying was going to be a big deal, which subsequently led to the invention of the in-flight snack. Thank you, noted fliers.. Fact: Noted fliers, or as they're also known, 'people who didn’t want to walk,' have been around since the dawn of air travel. Their contributions to snacks on planes are immeasurable..
• Headline: WHAT'S IN HAPPINESS TESTED AT COLUMBIA; COLONIAL ARCHITECTURE COMES TO FILLING STATION. Impact: The merging of happiness tests and colonial architecture at a gas station led to the invention of the 'happy hour,' where people sit in aesthetically pleasing places while pondering their life choices.. Fact: If only filling stations were as happy as the people who stopped to fill up. Instead, they mostly just fuel existential crises..
• Headline: ARCHERY IN NORTHWEST.. Impact: This surge in archery interest inspired countless movies and video games, leading to an entire generation mistakenly believing they could survive in the wilderness with just a bow and arrow.. Fact: Archery: the only sport where you can literally shoot your shot and nobody will judge you... unless you miss..
• Headline: DAYTON'S NEW MUSEUM; Beautiful Building on Its Own Little Acropolis Is Up-to-Date in Equipment ART IN BAVARIA HERE AND THERE. Impact: This museum sparked a cultural renaissance in Dayton, leading to the realization that perhaps art could save the world—or at least get people to stop staring at their phones for a few minutes.. Fact: A museum being referred to as an 'Acropolis' in Dayton is like calling a fast-food joint a Michelin-star restaurant. Nice try, but we see right through it..
• Headline: FLORIDA LAND SUIT.; Court Orders New Trial on Buyer's Plea of Fraud.. Impact: This case opened the floodgates for future land disputes, encouraging more fraud cases and eventually leading to the creation of reality TV shows about selling land with questionable morals.. Fact: In Florida, every land deal is practically a reality show waiting to happen. Who knew property disputes could be so entertaining?.